You Just Don't Understand: Women And Men In Con...
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These patterns have paradoxical effects. Men use the language of conflict to create connections, and conversely women can use the language of connection to create conflict. \"Women and men are inclined to understand each other in terms of their own styles because we assume we all live in the same world.\"[4] If the genders would keep this in mind and adjust accordingly, Tannen believes, much discord between them could be averted.
Tannen's book, Freed says, \"simultaneously perpetuates negative stereotypes of women, excuses men their interactive failings, and distorts by omission the accumulated knowledge of our discipline.\" While Tannen accurately cites the factual findings of one researcher on the development of linguistic interaction among children, she uses them to support notions of intrinsic gender difference whereas the actual research finds greater similarities. Her readable anecdotes support unjustified generalizations that fail to take ethnic differences into account. \"As an American Jewish woman married to an Irish American man,\" says Freed, \"the constellation of conversational traits that I live with is completely at odds with those described by Tannen.\" She also points out that men and women are able to communicate with each other quite well when courting.[7]
Sonia Maribel Sontay Herrera is an indigenous woman and human rights defender from Guatemala where systematic discrimination against indigenous women has gone on for decades. Herrera has felt the consequences of these historical injustices since she was a girl.
This culture of overwork punishes not just women but also men, although to a lesser degree. Only by recognizing and addressing the problem as one that affects all employees will we have a chance of achieving workplace equality.
Usually men only focus on their own needs and women only care about the wishes of others. Women give too much but are afraid to receive back because they feel unloved. Likewise, men are afraid to give because they don't want to feel like a failure.
Solution: Men don't try to fix or revive their partner, let them feel you are always there to listen and love them. Women need to let men know that it's not their fault, it's just a natural instinct that you will soon overcome on your own.
When men make mistakes, they become frustrated and angry, just let them calm down on their own. Men consider saying sorry to mean they have to admit they were wrong; Women see apologizing as a sign of generosity. That is why men are less likely to enter the water than women.
Men are very aggressive in arguments, often women will back down but that does not mean men have won, women do not change their opinion, they just temporarily set aside. Sometimes both deliberately ignore the conflict, men refuse to talk, women pretend to forget, but the problem still accumulates there waiting for the right time to explode.
Men want to prove themselves by the things they do, but they won't do it unless asked. Women need to learn how to offer men help, not demands, and don't make them feel forced to do it. And appreciate the help from men even if you are the one who has to speak first to receive it. Even if you know men will refuse to help, just ask and be generous with the refusal, they will remember that and will be more willing to help next time.
\"I think of going back to the sports field again, and let's take a baseball game. Well, you have cracked out a grounder and you put in your last ounce of energy and you just happen to make first base. But you don't stop there. First base is the beginning. Now you call on all your alertness, your skill, your energy -- and you count on your teammates, you count on the people that are working with you. And the purpose of that getting on first base was to get you around to count a run.\"Remarks at a Republican Men's Luncheon in Cleveland, Ohio 11/4/60 [AUDIO]
\"You did not tell me what you are doing athletically just now but I do hope that if your arm comes along next spring you can get it in good shape to try out for the pitching spot on the varsity. However, if you don't make it then I suggest you take up golf which after all is the best game of all of them.\"Letter, DDE to grandson David Eisenhower, 11/17/65 [DDE's Post Presidential Papers, Secretary's Series, Box 13, Eisenhower]
Col. Jessup:Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it You You, Lt. Weinberg I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know; that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, *saves lives*. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said \"thank you\" and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a *damn* what you think you are entitled to!
Capt. Ross:Don't you dare lump me in with Jessup and Kendrick just because we wear the same uniform. I'm your friend and I'm telling you, I don't think your clients belong in jail but I don't get to make that decision! I represent the government of the United States without passion or prejudice and my client has a case! There you go. Now I want you to acknowledge that the Judge Advocate has made you aware of the possible consequences of accusing a Marine officer of a felony without proper evidence.
Col. Jessup:Wait a minute, Tom, don't get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this for a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to traing Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain that I read that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!
Kaffee:Jo, let's not go crazy about this. We don't know who Markinson is we don't know what the log book's going to say. You just concentrate on Downey. I'm going to talk to Ross and tell him where we are.
Kaffee:Relax, we'll deal with the fence line shooting when it comes up. For now, let's start with intent. I don't know what made Santiago die, I don't want to know. I just want to show that it could have been something other than poison. Jo, talk to doctors find out everything there is to know about lactic acidosis. Sam, find out who else was in the emergency room that night.
Col. Jessup:Maybe I'm just spitballing here, maybe we have a responsibility as officers to train Santiago, maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this county to see that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. I'm certain I've read that somewhere once, and now I'm thinking your suggestion of \"transferring Santiago\" while expeditious and painless might not be in the manner of speaking, the \"American way\". Santiago stays where he is, we're going to train the lad
Kaffee:Relax, we'll deal with the fence line shooting when it comes up. For now, we'll start with intent. I don't know what made Santiago die, I don't want to know. I just want to be able to show it could've been something other than poison. Jo, talk to doctors, find out everything there is on lactic acidosis.
Kaffee:[to Sam and JoAnne]They drew the court members this afternoon. Seven men, two women, five Navy, four Marines. All officers with line experience. Neither of the women have children. So that's a bad break. There 's nothing we can do. My father always said a jury trial is not just about the law. It's about \"assigning blame\". Santiago's dead, and he shouldn't be. These nine people are going to insist that someone be \"blamed\" for that. Ross is handing them our clients. We're gonna hand them Kendrick. This is about a sales pitch. It's not going to won by the law, It's gonna be won by the lawyers. So remember, poker faces. Don't flinch in front of the court members. Something doesn't go our way, don't hang your head, don't shift in your seat, don't scribble furiously. Whatever happens, you have to look like it's exactly what you knew would happen. If you pass me documents, Do it swiftly and don't look over anxious.
Also needed, researchers say, are efforts to dislodge gender stereotypes about anger. June Tangney, PhD, for example, has called into question common assumptions about women and anger, such as the notion that women have trouble with anger. Women don't have a problem with anger--they just manage it differently, says Tangney, professor of psychology at George Mason University.
And what makes ordinary women angry day-to-day In 1993, Thomas conducted the Women's Anger Study, a large-scale investigation involving 535 women between the ages of 25 and 66. The study revealed three common roots to women's anger: powerlessness, injustice and the irresponsibility of other people.
If you're uncomfortable with making lighthearted banter or cracking jokes, or you struggle to know what's appropriate in any given situation, start by using self-deprecating humor. We all love people who don't take themselves too seriously and are able to gently poke fun at their own failings. After all, we're all flawed and we all make mistakes. So, if you're having a bad hair day or you've just spilled coffee over yourself, make a joke about it. Even if the joke falls flat or comes out wrong, the only person you risk offending is yourself. 59ce067264